These are notes from the book You are free by Rebekah Lyons
We are not made to keep up we are made to be free to be who we already are!
Our hearts will be restless until it rests in God.
Those who keep score in life just want to know they count.
When you work for an audience of one (God) you always count.
Am I good enough? Do I measure up? Are they proud of me?
I am tired of asking these questions.
Guys I have been praying like crazy for God to show me my purpose, to allow me to want what he wants for my life. I have been wanting this and wanting that. Want want want…
I was listening to a podcast this morning and something was said and it just hit me. Maybe God has me on hold because I am not being grateful for and appreciating all the good he has ALLREADY done in my life. I’m not ready for more good. I have a lot to learn yet. I have to learn to be joyful and happy now. Now with all that I have been blessed with. Not later… now.
My life is by no means perfect but it is beautiful. I have a wonderful family and kids. Great friends. An amazing church. So many things that I take for granted.
I’m getting it and that is enough. A little piece here and little bit there God is showing me, working on me and that is enough.
Have a great day!!
I find it really interestesting to go back and read my old journals. It really helps me to see where I was and what I have improved upon and where I still need to do some work. Here is my entry from:
December 14, 2016
I have attachment issues? Yes that is a question. I might. I am on a journey. I want to stop focusing so much on happiness and move toward being fulfilled. Happiness is fleeting. It comes and goes. It isn’t something that stays 24 hours a day. Fulfillment though, that can happen.
I say yes a lot when I really mean no. I think this comes from being raised in a home with drinkers. When you are a child and you are also the fixer you become an adult people pleaser. At least I did. What if I started asking myself these two questions. Am I able to? Do I want to? It is ok for me to say no. I am learning.
I have to hold myself accountable for my own fulfillment and focus on what I want and need. I want to be one of those people that doesn’t speak badly to themselves. Talk to yourself like you would a child, they say. It sounds so easy. It is not, trust me. I will work on this.
My house is an absolute cluttered disaster . It’s messy and I can’t seem to keep it clean. Yes I have two kids still at home but they are older and it shouldn’t be like this. I want my home to be a haven for me. A place I want to be because it is so beautiful and relaxing. That sounds so amazing. I am working on this too.
So…that was Dec 14. Less then a year ago. A couple of things since this that have happened.
I am no longer talking badly or negatively to myself. I mean it happens unconsciously but I am so much more aware of this.
My cluttered house got a big make over this summer. I got rid of so many things. There is still a long way to go but I did make some really good progress!