These are notes from the book Nothing to Prove by Jennie Allen
I am not enough and I am done trying to be.
We are not God. We do not have all the answers, strength, wisdom or energy.
I am not enough and that is absolutely Ok.
God is proud of you. He is not surprised by your list of sins or mistakes or shortcomings. He forgives you all of it when you confess to him and he never places a label on you. Your are not your mistakes. You are just his child.
I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, Go throw yourself into the sea, and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. – Mark 11: 22-23
In small group this week we talked about this verse and how belief is important. How we doubt this truth.
I have been thinking about what my mountain is. I think first and foremost anxiety is my mountain. It has shaped every aspect of my life. It has controlled all my decisions for as long as I can remember. It has made me feel less valuable and unloveable.
I have been asking Jesus to help me move this mountain. I do believe it can be done. I have been feeling so confident the last few weeks. I still have moments of anxiety but I am quick to tell it to go throw itself into the sea. I have been more diligent about the words I speak to myself. I am making sure they are loving and faith filled.
I will not forget how God sees me. I won’t forget that I am a child of God and that he loves me.
I no longer what to be passive about my life and my anxiety. I want to grow and flourish in my life. This is what. I have learned about how to do this:
1. Feed on God’s word.
- Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death.
- Ask God to feed you from his word
- Ask God to confirm the way for you
2. Anticipate positive results
- Visualize the outcome you desire
- When you step out into fear be ready to stay there for awhile, things dont always happen instantly
3. Initiate action toward the desired end
- When you move God moves
- What are the changes you need to make
- What are your dreams for your life
4. Train in a specific area of need
- Learn what you want to know or change
5. Hate staying bound by your passivity
- Ask what is keeping you from God’s best for your life?
- Get to the point where you can’t stand where you are anymore
- Pray for a holy hatred of the things in your life that are holding you back
- Be sick and tired of being sick and tired
- Have faith
Here is what I have learned about how God sees us. So exciting!!
PRICELESS – We are priceless in God’s eyes because of the price that was paid for us.
MASTERPIECE – Ephesians 2:10 – For we are God’s workmanship,created In Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us.
RIGHTOUS – God see us as perfect, 100%, we are given an A+ no matter what. God will never see you as a screw up.
2 Corinthians 5:21 – God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
AS A CHILD OF HIS OWN – Isn’t that amamzing? God sees me as his child.
So if this is how God sees us doesn’t that change everything? It does for me. It’s not some miraculous life changing moment but I do feel a bit lighter, a bit more free and little more at ease.
1. Smile Breathe and go slowly – Thich Nhat Hanh
Great advise. This is how I am going to go through my day today.
I am about 93% done with this book and all I can say is run as fast as you can and buy it right now. I have laughed out loud so hard reading this book. It is hilarious and tender and smart. I love love love it with all my heart.
Have a great day!
1. Guys, how about if being flawed is wonderfully ok? Isn’t that at an amazing thing to ponder? I spend so much time looking at all the ways that I am not perfect but ignore all the wonderful things that I am and that I have accomplished. I work my tooshy off being a single mom, owning a home, having a job and trying to navigate life. It’s not easy. I’m tired but I am also doing it. It’s not perfect but it’s working out just fine.
2. Also…do you ever beat yourself up for saying something really stupid? I do. Sometimes the craziest shit just spews right off the vocal cords. I say it and then I am immediately like what the hell is wrong with you? Where did that dumb shit come from? Then….I will think about it for a really long time and at the most inappropriate times, like from 3-5am. Not good. Then this dawned on me. Have I ever been around someone else that has had the same problem, where their vocal cords take control and something really dumb comes out? Yes I have. Guess what? How long did I spend thinking about it? About 15 seconds. I don’t have time to be thinking about their accidental dumb thing said because I am too busy thinking about my own shit. So if I am correct here then no one is thinking about the stupid thing I said 3 months ago because they are also thinking about their own shit. This means that I can stop ruminating about these moments now. No one cares. Thank God.
3. Listen to your inner voice. I hear this a lot. I read this a lot. I am not sure I trust my inner voice. It changes its mind on a dime. Very frustrating. This feels right, do this, say this , go here ect… The next day: this doesn’t feel right, that was a bad idea, why did you do that? I am not sure that I am hearing the right inner voice. How do people know? Is it my ego? I can be very impulsive. I think I have two inner voices, the impulsive one and the real one. The impulsive one is a pain in my ass.
4. Examine what you tolerate. I believe that I tolerate a lot. I can put up with a lot of bullshit for a long time and then bam out of no where one day I will just be like. DONE. No warning or anything. It’s over. I am not doing this anymore. This can be excruciating for the other person because they are so used to you being like, “oh, it’s ok that you that you treat me like a piece of shit. I understand that you are hurting and all of this pain gets projected onto me. I know you don’t mean it.” I really do mean these things when I am saying them but really people how much can a person take? I should be giving them warning right? “Hey just so you know, I can take a lot of shit but this thing happens where I will wake up one day and I never no when it will happen and I won’t be able to take your shit anymore. Just so you know, you have been warned.” I seriously need help in the relationship area. It’s catastrophic.
5. What would I like more of? Peace, contentment and security. Oh, and a little beauty thrown in every once in awhile.
Have a great day!!